How to deal with feelings of anguish and powerlessness?

In life, we are sometimes faced with problems and situations that are beyond our control. When these involve admitting our powerlessness, recognizing that there is nothing we can do to change them, it can be difficult to accept their existence. There may be a tendency to focus on how things might have been if they were different. We can negotiate and try to escape reality. But in fact, sometimes the most sensible path is acceptance. Learning to accept problems that are out of our control will lessen feelings of anguish, anxiety, anger and sadness. And who knows, maybe then the solution will become clear.

Here are some strategies for tolerating distress and powerlessness:

• Take time to validate your feelings;

It’s normal to have feelings of fear, anxiety, sadness, anguish or helplessness when we are faced with a problem or difficult situation. Sometimes it can be beneficial to create a moment of reflection, understand our feelings and thoughts and share them with someone.

• Accept the moment you are in, be it good or bad;

Acceptance is different from contentment or tolerance. Acceptance is looking at a problem from a realistic perspective, in order to rationally understand the best way to proceed. It's finding peace in how things really are.

• Consider what steps you can take;

Try to understand how you can take action, what steps you can take to reach a state of peace and well-being.

Depending on the situation, this could mean finding a practical resolution to the problem, if one exists, or it could mean creating actions that bring you balance, acceptance and inner peace.

• Assess emotional triggers;

If you feel that there is something that could be acting as an emotional trigger for this problem and triggering an exacerbated emotional response in you, it may be important to place this trigger on the scales. Is it something that benefits you? It’s important to recognise when to set this stimulus aside.

• Creates moments of serenity and self-care;

Take care of yourself. Moments of self-care can come from anything that brings you pleasure or makes you feel good about yourself. You can go for a walk, do meditation, listen to calm music, take a hot bath, eat something you like (etc.).

• Find a healthy distraction;

Negative emotions don't last forever and spending too much time focusing on something negative can be harmful. Finding an activity that requires concentration can help shift your thoughts to something more constructive. In the end you will feel rewarded for having successfully completed this task.

• Create positive actions of contribution;

When we focus on contributing to something positive and helping others we are replacing negative and pessimistic feelings with feelings of appreciation and helpfulness. This can be achieved with contributions, acts of volunteering, etc.

Remember that even in the face of a situation that is completely out of our control, we can always control our actions and decisions. We may not control the situation itself, but we do have control over how we react to it.